1. well, here we are again i guess.
  2. oddly i'm starting to get the hang of things like vim.
  3. yes it sound mundane, but understand that often i try these things but give up quickly.
  4. but here i am, typing at 5000000 wpm in a shell designed for the movies of high caliber such as 'swordfish'
  5. i suppose it will take some time to get used to being such an elite computer brainiac /s
  6. i should cut the shit. no point in lying here, right?
  7. i'm feeling more and more lonely recently. but it doesn't matter i guess, at least i can share my thoughts with you.
  8. i thought it'd be more appropriate to stop writing the short notes and maybe devote my time to actually writing proper thoughts
  9. i quickly realised there wouldn't be much point to that. i'm just not that kind of person.
  10. although i think moments of lucidity might allow me to type more than scattered thoughts.
  11. i think i'm getting worse, and so i suppose i am being offered the question whether i choose to better myself
  12. or to just continue wandering down into a mindless fog.
  13. it seems as though it will be a long time till i can rely on myself.
  14. financially i'm screwing myself. i don't forsee me doing well in the career path i've chosen because quite frankly
  15. i don't love it like i used to.
  16. is that bad?
  17. i found when i was younger that a lot of the people around me lacked a path or something they truly believed in.
  18. that thought often caused a lot of what i thought was depression, i wanted people to want something as much as i thought i did.
  19. i realise now i suppose that when faced with the constant thought of wanting to die being your fallback though
  20. you begin to question whether what you're doing is right.
  21. or if anything you ever do will be right.
  22. and so the only way to advance is to do everything, right?
  23. right.
  24. __ edit( 28022020 ) __
  25. oh thanks a lot power cut - you made me lose some work. well anyways that's pretty much it for this day